Last day. I was at one ad agency for 15 years of brainstorms, thai food, jokes, deck-building, revisions, cafeteria changes, aha moments, color palettes, client stumbles and victories, silly acronyms, photo searches, song searches, far flung shoots, train rides, plane rides, late edits, fantastic partnerships, absolute brilliance and growth. Then it was done. So I am taking 100 days to figure out where I want to go next. Do the things I love. Not waste a day. But not put too much pressure on myself. It is not often you get to reinvent yourself or follow what you are drawn to. It could be simple or grand. But here it is, a chance.
It’s my first day of no work. It’s surreal. It has not sunk in yet. It’s a day of love letters from my now ex-colleagues. I feel like I have died and have the gift of seeing what people think of me. It’s kind of fabulous. I went to a vegetarian restaurant I have always wanted to try, The Butcher’s Daughter, in the middle of the day. It’s wonderful to be a New Yorker and actually enjoy NY for once, instead of nose to the grindstone. First day of freedom!!!
It still has not sunk in. And probably will not for a couple days. 15 years of the same routine takes some time to release. I was highly responsible and the job was on my mind 24/7/365. I have started to meditate. It’s been on and off for two weeks, but the last 5 days every day. Part of the new me emerging. It’s been extremely helpful. The first couple months of this year were stressful for me so this new serenity is welcome. Meditate along with me here: https://soundcloud.com/davidji
First hyacinth blooms are appearing inside. Glimpses of spring. It’s an Academy Award-winning day. My beloved partner (I called him my day husband) of 15 years from work and his wife are coming for supper at the lake. Yes, the past 15 years I was partnered with one incredibly talented writer. It’s simply lovely and the conversation is flowing crazy like a desired Shiraz. He just retired and it’s the first time I have seen him since he left in January. It’s odd both of us are on the other side of that experience now! Some things seem meant to be. And we both have the same anniversary, by coincidence, which is tomorrow. We have all kinds of new adventures to plan, celebrate and look forward to.
It’s Monday and I am not at work. What?! It still has not hit me yet because it feels like some long weekend. It’s also Cinco de Marcho, our 7-year anniversary. We semi-celebrated the night before with our friends Ken and Emily who have the same anniversary (which is also the day the hula hoop was patented, how fitting as my husband was a hula hoop instructor!). I am grateful to have a supportive, inspiring husband who wants me to explore my new freedom. I celebrate that I am married to such a generous man. He also presents dinner and a toast in front of the fireplace! Happy anniversary! Song to fit the moment:
I started meditating and it has stuck. It’s been more than a week. I want to keep this sense of calmness in my life always. I admit the last two months at work were incredibly stressful. I had massive heart palpitations. I went to a cardiologist. I wore a heart monitor. But it’s nothing life-threatening. Meditation is helping to soothe that overactive heartbeat. And painting. I want to paint more, paint everything. My boots, light switches, stairs, mirrors, the sliding glass door…everything. We live with a robot and so I painted him. He (yes, he) is a vacuum. His name is Horus. He reminds me of horseshoe crabs I’d see growing up in Rhode Island. And it’s his watchful eye that is getting the rogue crumbs off the floor. So now when he passes and bumps into the chair leg, we say, Hey Horus.
I had to hand in my laptop. So I needed to buy a new one. Bizarre. I don’t have to have all those clients on there anymore. I will fill this one up with designs to paint, garden ideas, emails to people I admire and want to collaborate with, vegan recipes to try. I feel like anything is possible. And every meditation is profound. Thought I would share today’s:
It snowed 24 inches at the lake. Giant. That’s 1800’s style snow. Our house at the lake is one big amorphous mound. But lucky for me, I am in the city, where it is just slushing. And I am going to a lecture at the Type Director’s Club. Tony Di Spigna. Another giant. Master of gorgeous Spencerian script swirls. Scroll through the gallery above to see more. He was a partner in the legendary studio, Lubalin Associates, where he worked on all aspects of visual communications with another great, Herb Lubalin. It was AMAZING to see his hand-drawn work on tissue. And also comforting to know that he draws it dozens of times before it’s right. I was in awe the whole time.
It was an absolute pleasure this weekend. One of those occasions that is truly a marker in time. Some dear friends are about to give birth so we had 20 people up to the lake house to celebrate and give blessings. It was just the women on Friday night and Saturday during the day. Talking, dreaming and putting happy energy towards goodness for their new child. Then the men came and made and served us dinner. It was super impressive. We also had another rose petal ceremony for the couple to be. Such heartfelt sentiments from all friends as they embark on parenthood. I was truly moved. I gathered everyone to collaborate and provide pages in a book for the happy couple. I am so grateful that we have this house that can host meaningful events and sleep everyone comfortably, as well as share all its beauties and vistas. Pure love!
It’s Monday again! I start the day working out then meditating. I refuse to sleep in or get lazy. In fact I want to get in my best shape ever. I also want to learn. Right now, about composting. So I started a book, Let it Rot. I also gathered all the eggs from the weekend (4 dozen) washed and dried them, ground them to a powder in a food processor. If chunkier, they are good for making barriers for slugs. And also tomatoes and roses love the calcium, so I will mix them in with the compost. For an exciting hands-on fertilizer, mix the eggshells with coffee grounds, which are rich in nitrogen. I love recycling, making a fertile soil, learning what makes plants happy!
It’s rare that you get to hang out with a friend in daylight during the week in Brooklyn. So that’s what I did. Long lunch on a random Tuesday. It’s snowing again. And yet, everything I planted last fall inside in pots is blooming. Thirty tulips popped out! No flowers yet, but that is blissful blooming! Almost through the compost book. It’s too dry so I am going to add snow to it, as it has gathered good nutrients from the air as it passes. Today’s meditation: awareness. It’s a good one. Start with attention, then intention for the future, then action. Listen here:
Lucky me on Day 13! To have all this free time. I have been adulting during most of it so far. Making a will. Revising it with our lawyer. Getting finances sorted. Considering moving. Getting to every neglected doctor appointment. Mammogram…check. But it ain’t all roses. The dreaded is tomorrow. My first ever colonoscopy! Oh man! I have to chug a whole bottle of MiraLAX today. Frightening. But this is all part of the promise to myself, to get ALL THE DREADED THINGS done. And then on to the fun stuff.
What a weird day. I had anesthesia. I was cleaned out and checked out and all is good. Never had a colonoscopy before but it is all part of doing all the things NOW. Also did some deep cleansing in my closet. Things I have wanted to do for a few months. It feels good to check things off the list. Mr. Houdini loves projects and was with me every step. Crisis music for a non-crisis cleanse:
In honor of St. Patrick’s Day, I present real shamrocks. When I saw this plant, I was completely charmed. Never knew it existed. It sits in our window. Stays open all day. At night, it closes down and rests, the leaves, the flowers. Good philosophy! Tonight I will rest in Rhode Island. Road trip to visit my Nan until Monday. Luxurious to just choose to leave and be there in time for lunch on a Friday. It’s important to make time for family while I have this chance.
There is nothing more precious than spending time with beloveds. Nan is a force in my life. I am so grateful to have her. She is strong, smart and super-opinionated. We can talk about anything. And I love her for that. She has made me a better person and I needed someone like her in my life at a young age. You should hear Nan speak. It’s with a full-on, pristine, Rhode Island accent. She is full of zingers, so often I feel like I have my very own Gran-mama of Downton Abbey. We have a tradition where we go to the Matunuck Oyster Bar. I am {almost} a vegetarian. I say almost because I do not eat anything with eyes. Chickens, cows, pigs, goats, lambs, rabbits, shrimp, lobsters, crabs, snails have eyes. Clams, oystehs and mussels have no eyes, no brains, no nervous system, no care for their young and are basically just filters in shells on shells, so I do not have a problem eating them. So we go and have oystehs four ways. Raw, grilled with garlic, grilled with bourbon and chipotle, and fried with remoulade and cucumber. And a salad. You can see them in the […]
These ladies are part of my RI family posse. Relatives of all kinds. Beloved, outspoken, hysterical, artistic women…each admired, with their different charms. A few essentials are missing from this gathering (next time). But I will take the wisdom of these three for now. Nan (on the right) made her famous clam marinara and pasta. Broccoli rabe with garlic. Die and go to heaven. You can not beat a treasured, full of love, home-cooked family recipe. Wine, honesty and laughter are flowing freely. I feel loved, and again, infinite gratitude and calm in their presence. The best.
Time to head back to the New York City after time with dear women of my life. I like road/train/plane travel because my mind gets time to revel in thought, transitions, what is next. Something about seeing the trees and landscapes breeze by, so temporary. So in the moment. It’s a great metaphor. I’m playing this band in the car. It’s also on my gym playlist. A good song to drive to. Funky, retro, catchy. I just watched the video and was quite impressed. It’s a celebration of the great, modern women stars of Iran’s yesteryear. Between 1925-1979, Iranian women gained significant rights: access to employment and education, no requirement to wear a veil, the freedom to petition for divorce and child custody, and the rights to vote and to run for public office. And then it all changed with the revolution. And they disappeared into the shadows again. It’s very profound. I only hope one day every woman has opportunity, strength and ability to realize what and who she wants to be.
Stefan was away in Colorado skiing. I was in Rhode Island. And the cat had a lot to say about it when I got home! So nice to be back with the boys again. True love rules. And forever is not long enough with these two. Always surround yourself with love. And no drama. Life is too short for that, unless it is fun, fake, theatre drama! Song to you, my beloved:
It’s the fourth Nor’easter. For some reason it keeps happening on a Wednesday. Everything was closed down. But this is the day I am going to publish this blog live. I am quite proud of myself, because I had to learn WordPress. A whole new skill and language. I bumbled a bunch to get here. But I bought a theme with good customer support so I have had a lot of help. Learning WordPress was part of the reason I decided to do a blog. And to give any 50-something hope that it all does not have to end when you lose your job. There is time for reinvention, if you want it. Life throws many twists and turns and it is up to you to handle it with strength and humor. Sure, I could panic that in 100 days, there is no job for me. But I am not going to think that way. I am enjoying every day off and learning/exploring all the things I had no time for previously. I read a book on compost! Ha! It’s a journey to find something that suits me {my family} better even if it means we have to move or […]
Date night! I am so grateful to have an always-thinking, generous husband. He surprised me with super-VIP tickets to see Justin Timberlake at MSG. JT!!! First we went out to dinner to a place I have always wanted to try. A New York institution…NY Pizza Suprema, on 8th and 31st. Haha! My standards for date night…a slice?! It ain’t your every day slice. In fact they not only have a line out the door, but they have vegan margherita! We had one slice of normal and one vegan. I would definitely go back for the vegan. Darn good. Try it! Then on to The Garden. What a blast! I love seeing big, fancy concerts. Justin had a pathway that went straight through our area. He is a very giving performer. I kept watching the concert from his POV. What a trip to have that many people there loving you. May we all have that in our own world. A+ on the date night! And a sample below of Justin doing what he does best. <3
We are going to Coachella! First time! Volunteering for an artist named Robert Bose who brings massive light up balloon chains to festivals. See them here. We get free tickets, VIP access, and crazy fun times with balloons, inquisitive participants and harnesses! Just got our plane tickets with miles. April is filling up fast! I decided to repaint my boots today for it. As you can see they are pretty rough and tumble. It’s the 6th (?) time I have repainted them. This time bright gold. They have been to Burning Man multiple times, but now Coachella! Why not paint everything.
We are up at the lake and decided to join the locals in #marchforourlives through town. There were a half dozen students who spoke first. Their speeches were very heart-felt and impressive! It’s not about taking guns away. It’s about changing laws so people are safer. Much respect for these kids. Nice to be amongst the people of our community. All very friendly and inspired.
Sunday’s project in the hopper and DONE. We have two garbage bins, so I designed some lettering and painted it on them. It’s also an opportunity to work with One-Shot paints, the stuff sign painters use. I confess I am intimidated by them and want to get over it. Enamel. It’s like painting with car paint. And Stefan set up an outdoor camera on the area where we plan to plant vegetables. I wanted to see who comes through the garden. We have had 3 visitors in 18 hours.
I am working out 4 days a week, first thing in the morning. Stefan and I also do this thing we call “dance off.” Basically, at the end of the workout, we go to the gym room and put on a song and dance as hard and reckless as we can for the entire song. It’s super fun and liberating. Then the whole walk to the elevator, in the elevator, in the hallway, headphones in, I am singing and dancing like a fool. Usually no one is really around, but a couple maintenance guys know me for this now. Trying to dance more in general. Expand and stretch. Went to a hip hop class (I am terrible but willing to mess up), a salsa class (I could follow this one easier) and a Zumba class. I am going to make Zumba a Monday night thing. Song to sing in the hallway; it’s a crazy one in my playlist:
Downton Abbey. I visited the exhibition with my dear friend Tati. The gowns! The sets! Amazing to see all that detailed beading up close. And they brought a few of the sets too. Loved it. It’s there until April 2. Then at night it was off to the Music Hall of Williamsburg for brilliant artist Marlon Williams from New Zealand. I loved him the first time I heard him. He has an emotion-stirring voice of an angel from another world. A little like Roy Orbison. Stunning. He can stand there live with no one and sing with just a guitar and it stirs your soul. That’s how he opened in fact.
Miles! As of today, we have booked a bunch of travel for April. Doing a lot of it because, well, I actually have the time to do it! It’s a packed schedule. We are going to Ireland (will see Arcade Fire in Dublin), Amsterdam (to visit my sister and the Keukenhof, a gardener’s dream), Coachella (to work with the artist Robert Bose), and then my mom is coming for a week (along with the Rhode Island posse again). We also booked Fetes Galantes in Versailles, but that’s in May. All but one of these trips is with miles. Finally using them!!! Time to fly away. Stefan and I have a pact that we travel somewhere new every year. Dreams being fulfilled! For you:
I love the House of Yes. Beloved friends of ours who made this wonderful venue in Bushwick of love and absolute creativity. Their brilliance, energy and determination knows no bounds! A must visit! (See the best venue ever here.) But sometimes I feel the need to just stay home. I was there just two nights ago. So this night I sent Stefan out on his own. He had a great time with our lovelies (a la above) and I stayed home and painted. And it’s all good. I love that our relationship has this kind of freedom and non-restraint. No guilting here, ever. <3
Happy Passover! Spring is starting to have its way. YAY! 1000 bulbs I planted with friends last fall are starting to stir the soil and push out! It makes my heart fill with glee. Helleboruses, daffodils, hyacinths, crocuses, tulips all peaking up. Our indoor tulips, freesia, hyacinth are fully flowering. They are miracles of wonder. It is glorious to start to sense spring. I can not wait to see the grand science experiment that is our garden at the lake come to life. All the plants we put into the ground last fall as grandiose plans but no idea of the outcome, just starting to emerge. I spent a couple hours there just staring at barren hedges and plants, looking for clues, patterns, behaviors, beginnings. I can truly relate to Henry David Thoreau, like never before. There is such serenity in studying how the vines, plants, flowers thrive and behave. I am learning it all by observing, reading, googling. It is absolute bliss after working 16 years in advertising and getting out of the city maybe a total of a month or a little more a year, depending on shoots for work. To just be. To just listen. Birds. Wind. […]
Happy Easter! April Fools! No really, it’s Easter and it’s both. Hope you are having a lovely one! We are Happy Easter Fools. Today we stroll over the the farm to buy 3 apple trees. Two Honey Crisp and one Enterprise. Something I did not know—> You need to have at least two apple trees to have them bear fruit. And the first year you should pick the flowers off (no fruit) so they can establish solid roots. That will be very hard to do, I confess. But I will comply with the farmer’s wisdom. We also partook in some cider and a walk through the apple trees. And then went for a canoe ride. Wore some silly Easter bonnets and went over by the road to see how long it would take to get a wave/horn beep from a car (literally first try). Did a gnome photoshoot. Then made a grand feast for dinner. Always so much to be thankful for.